Fighting the "Borg"

I will admit it:  I have watched Star Trek.

The Klingons were bad, but the Borg are even worse -- a swarm of fearsome machine-men united by a single ruthless mind.  Every drone knows the thoughts of every other drone.  They mutate and adapt to attack with bewildering speed.  Enemies are swallowed up.  Their mantra:  "Resistance is futile.  Prepare to be assimilated.  We are Borg."  Borg is the ultimate melting pot.  "I" no longer exist; there is only "we".

Sometimes this world feels like the Borg.  And sometimes things happen that bring me up short, and make me realise how perilously close I am coming to being assimilated.  Today was a day like that.

For the first time in my life, I applied for EI.

I felt like a loser.  I felt like a failure.  I felt embarrassed and ashamed.  I felt like a shiftless bum depending on the charity of honest, hardworking people to support me while I sit at home on my backside drinking coffee ('cause that's the hardest stuff I'll drink) and twiddling my thumbs.   Worry is close at hand -- I should be out there, doing something, doing anything to earn a living rather than drawing EI.

But why?  Why do I feel that way when I know that I've paid into EI for years, when I know that it is through no fault of my own that I am now in a positon to have to draw it, and when I know that I'm anything but a shiftless bum, and am certainly not sitting at home twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the world to support me (although I do love my cup of coffee)?  Why do I worry when I know God will uphold me?

Because everything I see and hear around me tells me differently.  The world says that success is measured by wealth.  Value is defined by how much money I can earn.  If I am not doing something that makes money, I have no value.  If I have no wealth, I am a failure.  I should be embarrassed by my lack of funds.  Everyone wants to be rich, and if I deny it, I am a liar.  If I have lots of money I'll be free and happy; without it, I will be miserable.  Accepting "charity" is a sign of weakness and a total lack of pride.  That's what I see all around me.  That's what I hear from the radio, TV, billboards, newspapers, magazines, and the thousands of other voices that vie for my time and attention.  And I begin to believe it, without even realising it.  If I didn't believe it at some level, I wouldn't feel the things I am feeling.  I wouldn't give it a second thought.  But the value system of the world creeps into my heart and soul and I don't even realise it's happening until I find myself responding according to those worldly values rather than the values I consiously profess to believe.

Resistance is futile.  We are Borg.  Prepare to be assimilated.

But I don't want to be assimilated.  I do not want to become part of the value system of the world.  Because when I confront it squarely, I realise that the value system of this world stands diametrically opposed to the values of the upside-down kingdom of God which is my heart's deepest longing.

So I will resist.

I am valued because I am purchased by the blood of Christ.
I am free -- totally free -- in him.
I am a success when I become a more accurate reflection of who he is.
My deepest longing is to be rich in Christ, not in the things of this world.
I consider it all rubbish compared to the surpassing greatness and joy of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Jesus tells me not to worry about food or drink or the body, because he knows my needs, and he will provide.  I am to seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness.  I will take those words seriously and accept his provision humbly.
If I die a pauper in the eyes of the world, and stand before Jesus to hear him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant," it will be a life well-lived.

For the first time in my life, I applied for EI.  And I am grateful.  Grateful that it is there, because as little as it is, it is something.  But mostly grateful because it caused me to see where I was slipping into the values of the world and to recommit myself to the values of the King.

I am fighting the "Borg".