When God Stays Silent

I don't think God always answers our prayers.

Oh, I've heard all the cliche answers about how God always answers all our prayers with yes, no, or later.  But honestly, when it comes down to the everyday stuff,  there are loads of times I don't hear a no, or a later.  I hear nothing at all.  Nothing changes.  There is no answer.  I could move on if I heard a no.  I could wait paitently if I heard a "later".  Instead, I'm left in limbo.  Or things get even worse.  Do I keep asking?  Do I give up asking?  After all, if God says no, but I keep asking, aren't I being disobedient?  But if I give up praying for something for which the timing isn't quite right, aren't I demonstrating a lack of faith?  And how do I know when to do what?   Now, this is not some sort of theological treatise on the efficacy of prayer.  I know all the academic reasons which try to explain away the seeming lack of response.  That's not what this is about.  It's simply the reflection of a follower of Jesus Christ coming to terms with what I see.  Let's face it, the only time we really talk about God answering our prayers is when we get what we asked for.  This whole "no or later" business just doesn't cut it.

And that's ok.

You see, my faith and my hope do not depend on how or when, or even IF God answers my prayers.  If it does, then I'm in big trouble.  I have been told many times, when I go through hard things, "God has a plan.  He's got something much bigger and better for you.  God is going to provide."  And I believe that, at some level.  He does have a plan -- I have no doubt about that.  It is a plan to make me a better reflection of his Son.  He will provide -- with absolutely everything I need to live a godly, Christ-like life.  Beyond that, there are no guarantees.  I can pray for God to do such-and-such, and perhaps my prayer is for a great and godly thing.  But there are no guarantees that I will ever hear an answer.  I waver between hoping that he will answer and doubting that he will.  I limp between knowing that he could and believing that he will.  I totter between fearing that my own doubts will jettison my prayers, and trusting that God has the outcome in hand regardless of my fears.  I pray because I must, because I have to tell him what I'm thinking and feeling, and I know that he hears and cares.  There is nothing academic about it.  It is gritty and real.  But my expectation -- or my doubt -- that God always answers my prayers is in no way a reflection of my faith.

It's simple, really.  Not very comforting if I'm looking for a guarantee, but simple.  If my faith is in what God does for me, then there is a whole lot more than an answer to prayer at stake.  Then if things do not turn out the way I think they should,  I am forced to conclude, "I trusted God to provide for me in such-and-such a way, and he didn't, so maybe he's not trustworthy."  My very faith is shaken.  But that's not where my faith rests.  God is trustworthy no matter what.  He is worthy of my worship if he never again answers another prayer I ever utter.  He is worthy of worship simply because He Is.  That's where my faith lies -- not in what he does, but in who he is.

So what does that mean?  My hope is not that God always answers my prayers.  He might  . . . or he might not.  Whether he does or not, he remains the same:  trustworthy, loving, worthy of all praise and worship, good, upright, just, merciful, gracious, faithful, steadfast. He is who he says he is no matter what happens.

And that's where my hope and my faith rest.  It's that simple.

Even when God stays silent.