Hitting Refresh

This entry is one just for Special K, who is one of the richest blessings in my life, and whom I adore. She is tall and beautiful and smart and talented, but mostly, I love how she loves Jesus. She is kind and wise and reflects his heart.

She came to me yesterday and said, "I love your blog, Aunt Mari."

"You love my blog??"

"Yeah, I love your blog."

I said, "I haven't written anything in quite a long time."

I thought, You read my blog? Why would a kid read my blog? But then I realised, she's not a kid. Somewhere over the years, she has grown up into a woman. And she reads my blog. Crazy.

How does it happen, this passing of the years? When did my Special K change from a little girl to this tall, willowy, beautiful young woman who looks down on me and yet still looks up to me? When did all of my rich blessings turn from toddlers to teens to adults with significant others? Oh, there are still toddlers in the mix, but still. Most of them have become adults who tower over me.

When talking about work with someone some time ago, this person said to me something along the lines of, "Well, you have just this one thing," referring to my job and the fact that I don't have a husband and kids. I smiled inwardly at that, reflecting on my life, and I have thought of it often since. No husband and kids. Just a job. And nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters-in-law and a mom and a housemate and friends and more friends and a horse and a dog and hobbies and ministries which all often get short-shrift, because I am busy with "just that one thing". And the seasons come and go and the years slide by and Special K has grown from a girl to a woman who reads my blog.

I love my job. My job is more than a job; it is also a ministry. I love my students. They are also a blessing. And due to the fact that I have bills to pay and no one to help pay for them but me, I spend a fair bit of time at that one thing. But oh, my life is so much richer than that. And when I am surrounded by those brothers and sisters-in-love and nieces and nephews who crowd in for a selfie with Aunt Mari, who play Skittles games with me (eating Skittles and trying to pull out matching colours without looking), when I look at tables groaning under the burden of good food, when I hear a roar of laughter from a room full of people who laugh just like me, when I look ahead to a week where "just that one thing" is off my schedule and my schedule fills up with visits with friends and family and pets who have waited patiently for me to be finished with that one thing so that I have more time for them, and I hear my Special K tell me she reads my blog, I think, Just that one thing? I have so many things. So many unbelievable gifts and blessings from a Father who has given me abundantly more than I could have ever asked for or imagined.

And I need to remember that. I need to remember that I do not have "just that one thing", or that one thing could swallow up the years and consume my time and heart until all I have left is "just that one thing". Lord, teach me to number my days aright, that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

"I haven't written anything in quite a long time."

"I know," she said. "I keep checking. I keep hitting refresh."

So this one is for Special K. I love you more than you will ever know, my dear. You are a gift straight from God to me.

Ok, luv. Go ahead and hit refresh.

I will do the same.