A Rant

First it was random lists of colours.  Blue.  Black.  White.  Polka-dots.  Purple.  Nude.

Then it was cryptic comments that verged on lewdness.  In the kitchen on the floor.  Right by the front door.  On the backseat of my car.

Now it's the makeup-free selfie, which I post and then nominate someone else to do the same within 24 hours.

Somehow, taking a picture of myself without makeup and putting it up on Facebook is going to raise awareness of breast cancer.  Just like posting the colour of my underwear was going to raise awareness (and make all the men look like fools, which, of course, makes it so much more fun), and posting the place where my purse is currently resting was going to raise awareness (and make all the men look like fools, etc . . . ).

Oh, I know, the original point of the makeup-free selfie was supposed to be accompanied by a donation to a cancer society, and some people are still doing that, but let's be honest: most of the selfies I've seen posted have dropped the annoying donation bit and are just selfies "to raise awareness of breast cancer".

Seriously?

So I post a picture of myself without makeup, and I get dozens of comments about how wonderfully naturally radiantly beautiful I am.  How did that help anyone except me?  How did that bring awareness about anything except my own face?  How did that make one bit of difference in anyone's life who is actually struggling with cancer?  How do I think that taking and posting a picture of myself without makeup is somehow worthy of the struggle of cancer?  That it helps anyone know what it's like to hang over a toilet throwing up from the chemo treatments, to watch my hair come out in handsful, to watch my face swell up from the steroid treatments, or my lips and tongue become covered with sores, or be wracked with hiccups so deep and painful they strain every rib in my body?  How does it help to bring awareness to the fact that every step outside my house is a danger because the chemo has destroyed my immune system, and you insist on not being vaccinated for preventable diseases and won't stay home when you're sick?  How does it bring awareness to the anxious moments of waiting to see if the latest round of drugs has continued to fight this ravaging disease, or if the disease is overwhelming the drugs?  How does my collecting positive comments about my makeup-free face bring any kind of awareness to the pain of watching someone you love wither away and age a hundred years in one right before your eyes, and there is nothing you can do to stop it?

It doesn't.

All it does is make me feel good about myself. And how on earth did I become so vain and concerned about my appearance that I think that showing the world my bare face is somehow a brave and noble thing to do?

What about instead of perpetuating slactivism (the illusion of making a difference when you've really done nothing) we actually got out there and made a difference? 

What if we sat by the bedside of the cancer patient and held his hand while the drugs dripped into his veins?
What if we brought meals to the families of those whose days are eaten up in cancer clinics?
What if we donated money for parking, so the families of those patients could actually afford to park at the hospital?
What if we gave money, and gave generously to organizations like the Canadian Cancer Society or the Terry Fox Foundation?
What if we got off our backsides and tied on our running shoes and did the Terry Fox Run in September, or the Run for the Cure in October, or the Relay for Life in June?
What if, when we saw on Facebook that people are involved in these events and collecting funds, we pledged -- as quickly as we took a makeup-free selfie and posted that?
What if each one of us did just one of those things?

Those things are costly.  They involve sacrifice.  They take my money, my time, my effort.  They break my heart, because I come face-to-face with cancer, and I see the pain it involves.


Surely it's not too much to ask.  Is it?

I don't care if people want to take and post makeup-free selfies.  There are plenty of photos "out there' of myself without makeup.  It's really not that startling, or that big a deal.  Go for it.  I might even tell you you look great, as, I'm sure, you would tell me.  The mutual admiration society operates well.  But please don't think that doing so, in and of itself, makes any difference for those who are fighting cancer.

I've seen the face of cancer.
It looks nothing like a makeup-free selfie.