Small

Father, I am so small.
Colossus-like, I try to bestride the world and leave my mark,
Only to find that I am a toddler
Lost in a world that makes no sense,
Out of which I cannot find my way,
And I sit down and cry
To be found.
Father, in my attempts to make myself big,
I forget that you are big,
So big that you must stoop to look down upon the heavens and the earth.
Father, shrink me until I am forced to look up
And trust your bigness
And be found.

Father, I am so weak.
Like Atlas, I try to carry the world on my shoulders,
Only to find that I am a cripple.
The weight of my responsibilities
Causes my legs to buckle and my back to bend and my heart to break.
I fall to my knees and cry
To be relieved.
Father, in my striving to be strong,
I forget that you are strong.
So strong that you hold the world in your hand like dust.
Father, crush me until I am forced to look up
And trust your strength
And stand.

Father, I am so foolish.
Like Icharus, I try to soar on my own strength,
Only to crash beneath the rubble of broken dreams,
Tangled in the chains of my own reasoning and knowledge.
Trapped, I lie on my face and cry
To be freed to fly.
Father, in my striving to be clever,
I forget that you are wise.
So wise that your thoughts are higher than sky-high.
Father, let me fall until I am forced to look up
And trust your wisdom,
And soar.

Father, let me fall.
Crush me.
Shrink me
If you must.
But, oh, Abba, be gentle.
Remember
That I am foolish,
And weak,
And very, very small.